Expecting the Unexpected: Socialization
“I have a puppy who is 4 months and 1 day old today. I want to know how to socialize them at this age, because I brought him to a dog park. He got scared because dogs were playing rough and jumping on his back and knocking him over. He didn't like it, and he started to snap at the air and at the end a big puppy jumped on his back and he went to nip at him. I want him to be socialized with other dogs and be able to play with them at dog parks, but I don't know how to go about socializing him so he will be able to play with them and not be scared of other dog's. I want him to know the proper way to behave around dogs and that the other dogs are trying to engage in play.
I don't know anyone with puppies or dogs really at the moment who would be a good candidate to play with him.
Are there any suggestions on how to socialize him with other dogs and get him to where he can play in an open pen off leash with other dogs? He's fine with dogs on leash and he's okay with dogs off leash but he gets scared when they run and try to engage in play. Plus he can't stand other dogs jumping on him or rough housing. Plus makes me nervous, but he really wants to play with other dogs.
Any advice?”
Our biggest mistake with puppies? Socialization. Puppies need to be socialized.. But do puppies need to meet n’ greet every other dog out there? In the eyes of somebody who has once fallen into the socialization trap many, many years ago.. No, they absolutely do not.
So how do I approach this issue instead? I have the mindset that my dog does need to be well socialized.. Yes. They need to be well-adjusted, they need to be able to handle life and not fall apart around other dogs, in new stores or in new situations. I want to be able to take my puppy out for training even if there is a thunderstorm going off. I want the security of knowing my dog will never take off and end up being a statistical Facebook Post on Halloween because he was outside when the fireworks started going off. And I want my puppy to not care about the man dressed in all black with his hood up 5 feet away.. Because it doesn’t matter. All that matters is me, my dog, and how well my dog can handle every new situation.
Somewhere along the line of raising our dogs, puppy kindergarten got mixed in, offering a little socialization mixer. While puppies certainly DO need to play with and interact with other dogs and puppies, this is just a glimpse into socialization and definitely not my end-all-be-all for raising a pup.
What does my socialization look like? Here’s a quick list…
- Walking on an unsteady dock
- Walking past strange dogs, people, things etc without interacting with them
-Sleeping over at my friends house (new environment, same crate!)
-Playing tug with horses, cattle and chickens in plain view 20 feet away
-Practicing basic obedience on a skateboard, wobble board, wet tile.. Any new surface.
-Trips to Homesense, PetSmart (while dodging unsolicited puppy advice..) and Home Depot without having people greet my puppy
-Trips to the same above stores.. This time, inviting people periodically to interact with my puppy
-Climbing a big big sturdy pile of sticks
-Walking across a wet long in the lake to get to his toy (yes, while cheering him on!)
-Regular training sessions with loud noises in the background like gun shots, balloons popping, fireworks..
-Eating his food beside the vacuum and hair dryer.. Which were both turned on the highest, loudest setting
-This one is my favorite.. Learning to lay down on a speed boat!
-Hiking in all different types of areas and terrains.
-Rushing outside of the house when there are cops and sirens outside to play!
-Pottying on difference surfaces.. I really didn’t want a picky dog who wouldn’t pee in a different setting!
-Using a childrens’ playground as our fake puppy-agility course
.. you get the hint. So socialization isn’t all about meeting and greeting others and dogs. Below there is a quick story that you can probably relate to, if you too have been led to believe that socialization means running up to every other dog you see:
Once upon a time, there was a new puppy owner. She brought home her sweet little ball of fluff during a global pandemic, without a plan, but well equipped with every “New Puppy Owner” group online she could find. She planned to socialize her puppy, beat the pandemic puppy problems she read about online.. All in all, she just wanted a well-rounded, happy puppy who enjoyed the company of other dogs. Her vision for this puppy was to take it for walks, to the dog park.. A puppy she could have at her side throughout the long winter ahead.
At first, she sat with her puppy watching people and dogs go by. Once her puppy had his vaccines, she ventured outside with him. She couldn’t wait to introduce him to other dogs and watch him make friends and play! Her puppy started off a bit unsure.. In a few short weeks, he was full of confidence being familiar with the dog park and happy to meet other dogs!
Until one day a bigger puppy jumped on his back, knocking him over. He was scared! Her puppy started snapping at the air, trying to nip the other dogs to get off of him and let him up. Where was she going to go to socialize him? Wasn’t socialization about him meeting other dogs? Nobody else she knew had a puppy at this time and she was scared of having her puppy react badly to another dog at the dog park. Socialization was hard, where to start, who to trust, who to ask questions to..?
Her puppy was now scared to go to the park, he cowered when he saw other dogs and barked at strangers. She couldn’t have an aggressive dog, this wouldn’t work well with her lifestyle. Her walks and fun at the dog park with her new puppy turned into lonely visits to the city park, sitting on a bench with her scared puppy. This really was not the life she expected, and she wondered how to keep socializing her puppy when he was afraid of everybody and everything!
Walking through the parking lot that evening with her puppy, she passed a local trainer with her dog. This dog was magnificent: he carried himself well, he listened, he was laying down beside her car waiting patiently for his owner to load him up to go home and didn’t care about what was going on around him. She quickly pulled out her phone and searched up the writing on the side of the car: she needed her puppy to be like this dog!
The next day, she got in touch, booking a consultation. 48 hours later, she received her mini-training plan, with an option to continue learning the right things, the right way with her puppy when the world was shut down and she had run out of ideas. She finally got her time and confidence to train her own puppy back instead of sifting through all the puppy groups! Within that very week, she went from soothing her scared puppy on a bench to walking past other dogs again.
Fast forward a few months later and she is bonding so well with her puppy! He is now just under 8 months old, happy, tail-wagging when he meets other dogs and well-socialized. To top it all off, the game of tug she learned in her program changed everything! Her results weren’t just for her puppy, and raising him into a well-adjusted adult dog.. She had continued support. Somebody to answer questions, somebody to help her be a well informed and confident dog owner.. A mentor for raising her puppy.
Now at the dog park, she plays with her dog. She learned that she cannot rely on other dogs to exercise her dog for her, and she learned the importance of bonding with her own puppy! She has learned more than socialization, though. Her puppy is confident, he’s beginning his adolescent stage now. He knows she will be there for him in any new situation to help him through it and she knows that she can now go enjoy her new life with her pup without feeling guilty for sticking him in places he’s uncomfortable with.
Together, through coaching they now know how to handle the world: In short, she socialized her dog for real life. The inevitable bad things can, will and do happen no matter how much we try to control it. The difference now is that this client knows how to handle it, and how to protect her pup from reverting back to the once scared of life ball of fur he was.